A revelation, an insight so profound, I have finally seen the essence of being that holds me back, that limiting part of me that tells me untruths, the part that holds past reflections of my shame and guilt that holds within it all the thoughts and notions that prevent my path from fully unfolding, that fights quietly within, that prevents my self-efficacy from shining fully in my life and in my world. Whilst immediately frightening, focused thoughts brought it forward and with it a sense of knowing that this is my block.
At first my thoughts were primitive, that it must be slain, it must be removed, its black eyes were scary and it seemed so powerful, but then I remembered it was a part of me, it was my power. Then it came to me, the knowing, the effort needed wasn’t removal, nor was it to slay my ‘dragon’ so to speak, it was love. I need to give it love, not to nurture the dark but to give it light, to see it smile and say thank you for releasing me, thank you for showing me that I am so much more than the dark and loneliness I feel. I need to place my ethereal arms around him, to embrace him and tell him that it is alright, he can move from the sadness and be a part of my new found light, he can help me receive and we can forgive together for he is a part of my past that needs to flow into my present with a love and transformation that makes him my treasure, the biggest key to my learning and to my life, for he has always been part of my compassionate heart.
I had waited so long to know who he was, he scared me so much, and I had hidden in my own shadows to avoid him. Although I knew he was there I dismissed his presence like a deep dark secret…through the smiles and laughter of everyday life he sat invisibly in the wings, growing as did, until today. Now I will face him and speak to him kindly and his stately stature that once filled me with dread will become my own, a part of me without limits, a part of my essence that’s free, forgiven and ready to move forward, together and whole, for I AM ME, a strong me, a free me, a limitless me.
With gratitude and love
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© Elaine W Shaw 2014