Self-Love and Self-Care, I must confess that I haven’t always been fair to myself or my body! That’s right I have not always put myself first, that was a totally new concept for me…

I was brought up to believe that everyone else came first, that as a mother, MY needs were less important. That wasn’t actually said in words, but was a thought process and a silent practise that I learned from other women in my family as I grew, and from other women who I encountered in my life. It was in fact instilled into my psyche, without my ever questioning it.

A woman’s place, and aI must confess that I haven't always been fair to myself or my body! That's right I have not always put myself first, that was a totally, new concept for me...I was brought up to believe that everyone else came first, that my needs were less important. That wasn't actually said in words, but the practise that I learned from other women in my family as I grew, and women who I encountered in my life. it was in fact instilled into my psyche, without my ever questioning it; a woman's place, and a Mother's role was to take care of the men and the children and she took a back seat. Good old Victorian values, still alive and well and prospering within the modern lifestyle. My mind and my life in constant contradiction, both fighting their corner within my subconscious and the everyday clutter of my mind. I had moved mountains to become the independent, free thinking woman I am today, but shadows of a former regime that dictated the life of women in my world as I grew, were ingrained and accepted as part of what was, but so to reluctantly remain as part of what is, but now I am aware, I can see them. I am proud of the woman I am, strong and capable, compassionate and emphatic, resilient and dynamic, yet silently holding on to the values of others, the values of old thinking, from a time of great love yet imbued and permeated with silent obligation and ignorance of self. I knew it was time to unleash that ingrained subservience, a subservience that no longer served me, a subservience that led to ingrained guilt and lack of real love for self. I knew that I was and am important, I teach it, I try my best to live it, but I am aware that I have deep seated rooted thoughts that surface now and then especially when my life meets challenge. Of course as Mother's our children are our top priority but so are we..and I am no different. I know I am enough, yet I long to be more, I know I am special, yet I long for the evidence to support my thoughts, I now that I am loved and supported, yet I so too search for the evidence to confirm my desire. My ego takes a daily trip through my mind to rock me back to the comfort of my life-long inner subservient nature. Now I am, what one might call a middle ager, a late bloomer, or some other label even more bizarre, but in truth I am the best person I know, flaws and all, fighting mind-sets and all. In truth I am an amazing woman, an amazing wife and Mother, a loving, caring daughter, a thankful and appreciative dreamer, a big-stakes winner in my life. I am the best I can be today, but tomorrow I may be different; remember the quote by Lewis Caroll, "I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then," So, knowing that each day is a new day, a new beginning and old thoughts and feelings can be updated, changed and even tossed aside when no longer needed, I can still be proud and walk in the paths of those I admire, and those whom I loved deeply, and still love, but with different shoes, and with a different mind-set...A mind-set of good feeling thoughts, kindness, and choice, decisions that are mine and borne from an inner freedom, a freedom of choice to love myself, care for myself, give myself the best I can, just as I would someone I loved deeply, just I do my children, and my family and those I hold dear. I now hold myself dear, and close to my heart, and am thankful for who I am, and for my knowing, thankful for all the good in my mind and my life, thankful for a beautiful world in which to live, and thankful and appreciative of the knowing and the changes I am experiencing, thankful for me, thankful to be me, and thankful for all I am, and all I can be. Mother’s role was to take care of the men and the children and take a back seat. Good old Victorian values, still alive and well and prospering within the modern lifestyle. That wasn’t unique thinking, not at all, it was just the way it was, at that time, and I feel sure that there will be thousands of women who shared similar experiences as they grew.

My mind and my life in constant contradiction, both fighting their corner within my subconscious and the everyday clutter of my mind. I had moved mountains to become the independent, free thinking woman I am today, but shadows of a former regime that dictated the life of women in my world, were ingrained and accepted as part of what was, but so to reluctantly remain as part of what is, but now I am aware, I can see them. I am proud of the woman I am, strong and capable, compassionate and emphatic, resilient and dynamic, the woman  who is silently holding on to the values of others, the values of old thinking, from a time of great love yet imbued and permeated with silent obligation and ignorance of self. Yes I am proud of all the facets of me, and accepting of the lack lustre and somewhat subservient inner hidden traits that appear from time to time.

I knew it was time to unleash that ingrained subservience, a subservience that no longer served me, a subservience that led to ingrained guilt and lack of real love for self. I knew that I was and am important, I teach it, I try my best to live it, but I am aware that I also have deep seated,well rooted but hidden beliefs that surface now and then especially when my life meets challenge.

Of course as Mother’s, our children are our top priority, our first thought, but we also have to remember that we are important too..

“Self-Care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel,”   Eleanor Brown

And I am no different. I know I am enough, yet I long to be more. I know I am special, yet I long for the evidence to support my thoughts. I now that I am loved and supported, yet I quietly search for the evidence to confirm my desire.

My ego takes a daily trip through my mind to rock me back to the comfort of my life-long inner subservient nature. Now I am, what one might call a middle-ager, a baby boomer, a late bloomer, or some other label even more bizarre. In truth I am the best person I know, best for me, flaws and all, and fighting mind-sets too. My heart tells me that I am an amazing woman, a good wife and a wonderful Mother, a loving and caring daughter, a thankful and appreciative dreamer, a big-stakes winner in my life. but my head tells me to not get ahead of myself, that I am striving to be, but I know am the best I can be today, and tomorrow I may be different; remember the quote by Lewis Caroll,

“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then,”   Lewis Carroll

Our lives can be incredibly dynamic, and changes both large and small occur in an instant, but know that nothing we experience is insignificant, on the contrary, everything changes you – your thoughts, your ideas, your beliefs, your life. We grow in every moment, we become more experienced at life, at love, at work, at home, in so many ways. Just give that idea a little thought, how quick changes can occur both within ourselves, and externally …. Isn’t life quite amazing?

So, knowing that each day is a new day, a new beginning, and that old thoughts and feelings can be updated, changed and even tossed aside when no longer needed, is so empowering, and it is that thought structure and mind-set that can open new doors, and create new opportunities,  rising from deep within.

What’s important is that I have the power to choose Click To Tweet

I can still be proud and choose to walk in the paths of those I admire, and of those whom I loved deeply, maybe long gone, but whose love, I still hold in my heart.  I can choose that path,  but I can do so wearing different shoes, and with a different mind-set, a new perspective…A mind-set of good feeling thoughts, kindness, and choice, decisions that are mine and borne from an inner freedom.  A freedom of choice to love myself, care for myself, give myself the best that I can, just as I would someone I loved deeply, just I do my children, and my family and those I hold dear. I now hold myself dear, and close to my heart, and I am thankful for who I am, and for my knowing. Thankful for all the good in my mind and my life, thankful for a beautiful world in which I live, and thankful and appreciative of the knowing and the changes I am experiencing. I am thankful for me, thankful to be me, and thankful for all I am, and all I can be.

I am thankful for me, thankful to be me, and thankful for all I am, and all I can be. Click To Tweet

 

Sending you Love ‘Till Next Time

Elaine x♥x

 

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